November 6th

This morning I woke up at 3am and see the US election results. While I am disappointed, I think a little part of me accepted that this was a likely outcome. Despite my hopes this election is a validation of what I already know to be true from my own lived experience and work in social justice , that white supremacy and misogyny have yet to be extracted from what is the fabric and foundation of this country. The connection between white supremacy and capitalism is inextricable, and while I hoped for a different outcome at the top of the ticket, I also know that the no matter who is President so much work that remains. The path to an equitable and just world is very long. so I start today grieving, redetermined, and modestly hopeful because all is not lost in this election.

1. Checked in on friends and family

2. Made a cup of tea

3. Unsubscribed from marketing emails and text messages

4. Became a member of the working families party

5. Found a new independently owned bookshop to visit today to fill my cup

6. Cancelled non-essential work meetings

“Little drops of water make the mighty ocean.” -Julia Carney

2022 Reflections

2021 was a year of deep grief and growth for me. 2022 was my year of budding and patience. 2023 will be a true test of how much of that growth I can apply to my day to day.

This year has had a lot of “down time” while I was sick or just limited by pregnancy. This time allowed me to reflect on what matters most and the limitations showed my what is actually a “requirement” in my life and what is non-essential.

Recently, I happened upon “Kolb Learning Styles” which a theory that there is a 4 stage process to truly learning something: experience, reflection, learning, experimentation (and then back to experience). The experimentation, or as I like to think of it implementation, piece is the part I think I can miss out on at times. But it is the critical part where you take what you learned and apply it to your life. For instance last year I learned that I try to control so much of my life to create stability due to my unstable upbringing. And that often works for me, but at times I try to control what is uncontrollable and that can lead to suffering for me. So in 2022 I have been trying to identify what is worth trying to control and accepting what isn’t.

Along those lines, next year I truly want to implement the practice of putting in effort and then letting go when I have done all I can and trusting that my effort was enough. My 2023 word of the year is Release. I know that parenthood is going to come with some many things outside of my control. I am going to be working with a little human and partner with their own ways of doing things and I anticipate acceptance of that might be tough for me initially. But I am making it my goal to release the stranglehold I try to have on life and take things as they come. I want to summon the wisdom to know when I need to step in and when I can let others step in (or maybe even not). There might be a lot of “letting go” in 2023 and I am excited to see how that changes me.

My hope is that this year I will release the tension in my jaw, my expectations, the tight hold grip I have on my life and embrace all the unknown that is to come. I’m want this next chapter to feel like an exciting adventure. Much like when I started my business, I think becoming a parent will be this new exciting challenge I am totally unprepared for but eager to figure out. Only unlike with my business the goal will be to enjoy each day and try not to look to far down the line at specific end goals.

Gratitude Pages no. 3

Another round of things I have jotted down in my gratitude journal lately.

This week’s gratitude journal glimpses:

• Incredible authors who pen stories you can get lost in. Lately I have been reading more and it feels incredible.

• The way the afternoon light streams into the house and gives me a second burst of inspiration near the end of the day.

• The changing season, I have been pulling out my sweaters and coziest clothing and it feels great to shop my own wardrobe.

The Gift of Presence

I’m laying on the beach, having just cracked open another book about minimalism, when my husband who left just moments ago enters my periphery. I notice a huge smile on his face as he outstretches his arm to me and drops two cold, wet rocks into my hand.

“There’s lots of rock over there. We’ll go together when I get back,” he says before heading back to the ocean.

My whole body feels with warmth and I admire the beautiful stones. These are the moments that I live for. The things that really matter. What is missed when I am not living in the present. What a gift his little reminder was. A gift of his attention and thoughtfulness, but also a gentle reminder to myself to be here, now.

Gratitude Pages no. 2

Another week of 2021 gone and all I can think about is how is September nearly over? Even the start of the year is a blur much less the spring and summer.

Another few glimpses from my “journal” this week:

• The courage to start fresh. Specifically, choosing to move to California four years ago, but also in so many other ways.

• A quiet home. I love the peace. I grew up in a big family so I was used to noise but I much prefer a bit of silence.

• Options. Sometimes decision-making can feel like a burden, particularly the big life decisions. But in actuality it’s a privilege to have options. To have autonomy to direct your life as you wish, what a gift to have options to do and to try.

Affirmations of the Week

It was recently suggested to me to try out affirmations. I have to be honest, the thought of saying affirmations out loud to myself made me uncomfortable (although I love reading others’ on Instagram like the one below). And for that reason alone I wanted to examine why, first by trying them out.

My personal affirmation of the week:

I am tender yet resilient. I am precisely where I ought to be and what a beautiful place it is.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Faith Broussard Cade (@fleurdelisspeaks)

Gratitude Pages no. 1

Back when I was in college, and severely homesick, I started keeping a little journal with bullet points of things that made me happy each day. When I got sad I’d pull it out and read back how beautiful the little life I was creating was. I think without this small practice my homesickness would have resulted in me dropping everything and heading home.

I was thinking about this recently, and about the many times I have added gratitude practices to my daily routine. They are a powerful way to change your thinking over time, require your brain to focus on the beauty in front of you and find a way to push though difficult situations. I don’t have any particular reason to get back to gratitude journaling aside from it make me feel good, and I really love the thought of future me looking back on them. I really wish I still had 17 & 18 year old Gina’s first gratitude journal. I’m sure it would be full of things like, “my friend Christine brought me a cookie from the cafeteria” and “I got an A on my English assignment.” Little memories that meant so much to me at that time.

All that to say here is are some snippets out of my “journal” for September 20th.

• My slow mornings. Taking the time to pace myself has helped set a calm tone to the day.

• Seeing a friend this weekend just to talk and hang with her new pup. Bliss.

• Affirming text messages from my sister, who intuitively knows just what to say when you need it most.

by Humankind Shower Set Review

I have been using the byHumankind shower set for over a month and the results are in. I like them, do I love them? No, but I really really like them.

First off, the packaging is beautiful. The pumps are plastic and high quality enough that I can see them holding up for many uses. The aluminum bottles are lovely, lightweight, and endlessly recyclable. What would make them even better is if byHumankind had a refill/take back program. I inquired about this and they indicated it’s not in the plans for now, so municipal recycling it is. To be honest though I may refill these bottles myself… so in that note let’s talk about the product formulas.

I love the body wash formula, I have the tea tree scent and will definitely try it the bergamot next. With this body wash a little goes a long way. It lathers beautifully and downs’t dry out the skin at all.

As for the shampoo and conditioner, they do the job and smell great. I haven’t noticed any adverse affects to my hair but they aren’t spectacular products. I find myself still reaching for my Prose custom shampoo and conditioner. But if you aren’t picky about your hair care products these are worth a try. I personally think I will keep them on hand for guests because they are sure to impress with the scents.

All in all, I am pleasantly surprised with this shower set. For more byHumankind products I like check out these posts.

*This shower set was gifted, but all thoughts are my own

The Smallest Satisfaction

My morning rituals have shifted slightly this season. I still find myself moving from rooms to room opening the windows and letting the daylight in. But I save our patio doors for last because just beyond them is my little self made haven of a patio garden. 

I’ve pretty much always lived in cities (NYC, LA, and even DC for a stint), and the fact that there are parks and green spaces throughout plus my family of houseplants tided over my desire for my own green (or greener) space all these years. But in the midst of lockdowns last year a private sanctuary outside the walls of our apartment became a priority, so we moved.

At first out narrow patio was just a beige stuccoed trough hanging off the outside of our building. But over time with the addition of a couple chairs, some plants, and outdoor tiles it became an urban oasis. Each morning I open the curtains and from behind the glass spy on my plants, trying to identify and changes from the day before. Excited to find new growth or greet the little creatures scampering through the foliage. But before heading outside I put on water to boil and grind coffee beans, still lurking on the potted blooms scattered across the exterior wall, table, and floors. Eventually my morning pour over is ready and I can move on to my most exiting ritual of the day, watering.

Somehow watering my outdoor plants became a routine I love, despite being resistant to it at first. I have been used to weekly or less frequent watering schedules for my houseplants, and even those I held on loosely too. But the cottage style flowers in their terra-cotta planters are not patient enough to be watered on my schedule. If I skipped a day or two they would tell me in their depressed appearance, quickly dropping flowers. And the seeds I was patiently awaited to sprout would remain dormant. So I made it my duty to water them each morning before I treated myself to coffee. Its and intimate thing, watering in the still of the morning, getting to know how much each plant requires, how much sun they likely got the day prior based on how the soil looks and feels today. It’s meditative and slowing. And now I couldn’t imagine a better way prime myself before taking my morning coffee. Sitting quietly in front of bushes of grateful flowers and optimistic seedlings, satisfied that if nothing else happens today I cared for something outside myself but for myself.

Comparisons for Happiness

This year I have been reflecting on how the life I am living now was once just a dream for me. It’s a simple life, but when compared to other phases in my past it astonishes me how far I have come. This is a new perspective for me though…

A few months ago I became so fed up with my constant rumination on goals and ambitions that it was muddling my mind to the point of depression. I had become so focused on the future, in part because of the pandemic, that I could not appreciate where I am right now. My restlessness had become too much, I was constantly feeling rushed to get further in my life, speeding past this present phase. Fortunately, I recognized this feeling was making me unhappy and started the inner work that was needed.

While achievement is such a large part of my personality and life motivation, I recognize there is a dark side of it for me. Years ago I began practicing mindfulness because I can get so fixated on the future that I miss current life. And once I reach that future, I am yet again overlooking it to get to the next stage. I’ve never wanted to fall into the trap of never being satisfied with life. Instead I want to live a life full of appreciation for where I am at every stage and not simple when I’ve “made it.”

The way I cultivate this is by actively and intentional looking around me a speaking (often out loud) the things I am grateful for. At times it is simple the way the light is reflecting on the walls or the blossoming tree just outside the window. Other times it’s the peace and quiet of my home, or a beautiful piece of furniture I use daily. Or maybe it’s a meal I’ve prepared or the person in sharing my time with. When I stop and look around there are endless things that are right in front of me that I am so appreciative of. And the beauty of this practice is before long it happens subconsciously, my mind has quickly become accustomed to seeing what I have as opposed to what I don’t.

And when the gratitude doesn’t come so easily I compare my present, not to my future self or others, but instead to my own past self. I have so much that I have accomplished, and when I stop to think about it I can physically feel the pride well up in my body. I feel proud that I, as a Black mixed-raced woman worked my way through college, eventually and unconventionally received a graduate degree from an Ivy League university, built a fulfilling career and later bootstrapped a business, created stability for myself, found a healthy partner to build a life with, created safe home filled with laughter and love, and done the years of inner work to heal past traumas and manage my anxiety. These things, and more, when listed out are far more impressive than the bigger house or early retirement my mind may be focused on.

When I compare where I am today to me one year, 5 years, 10 years ago and more I can’t help but look around and realize I am enough just as I am.